Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know. This is a brilliant lesson that will keep showing up in your life until you deal with it or change something.
Usually the “thing” that keeps showing up in your life is the lesson. Once we sit down and reflect and perhaps even journal what’s going on we start to be the “observer” in our lives. If you observe something you pull yourself out of the intense emotion. You almost become your own counsellor.
Journalling these thoughts and feelings also intensifies the removal of yourself. What do “you” feel is best? What advice would you give to someone in your shoes?
Observing and then noting how you can change your reflex response may just be the key to dealing with “it.”
The alternative? Keep doing what you’ve always done and keep getting what you’ve always got..!
In the book “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” they talk about a dance we do. One thing happens, you react in the typical way, then They respond in the same way you know They will, and so the Dance of Anger goes. By not reacting in the same way you will stop this dance.
At first it will be very forced to change your reflex to react the same way, but allowing yourself time to respond or giving the situation a “time out” will help you assess your next move. Simply saying something like; “I will get back to you on this…” or “I need some time to assess how I feel…”, pauses the situation. In fact the other person is almost shocked by the change and is then left wondering “what’s happening here?”
We don’t need to rush in with a response, especially when you start this process. Eventually it will become second nature and you will simply be able to set your boundaries and know exactly how you feel, why you feel it and what you are or not going to take on board as your truth.
This is one of the most powerful things we can all do.
Enjoy your new found freedom and allow your situations to change.
By Alexandra Andrews